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With Christmas approaching, it’s time to deck your closet with a festive sweater (or three). And we recommend getting ugly. Gone are the days when regular Christmas sweaters could be worn seriously: this year, the best ugly Christmas sweaters are king.
But what does an ugly Christmas sweater even mean these days? It could be your dad’s cringy old knitwear from the eighties, but you can go further — much further. Online brands are creating some hilariously over-the-top, laughably ugly sweaters that liven up any casual holiday party or Christmas card. After all, the holidays are the most stressful time of the year — funny, ugly sweaters are a great way to reduce that stress for everyone.
What Are the Best Ugly Christmas Sweaters?
From sweaters inspired by The Office to “Santa Pooping,” there’s something for every holiday occasion and every naughty Christmas lover. Whether you’re shopping for yourself, a loved one, or the whole family, check out the best ugly Christmas sweaters below.
What does Santa Claus look like under that big coat? Amazon has a couple of ideas, as shown by these crewneck sweatshirts. With a hairy torso, sailor-Santa-style tattoos, tree ornaments hanging off the nipples and a gangster chain of Christmas lights, the sweater is everything you associate with Christmas, only wrong (and funny). (Currently available in S-3X)
It’s safe to say that we would all like Snoop Dogg to read us a bedtime story on Christmas Eve — no matter our age. This sweater features the LA rapper’s face, along with lines from the fictional Snoop-ified version of “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” While it’ll make any hip-hop fan chuckle, the sweater is also comfortable to wear all night thanks to a soft mid-weight cotton fabric and flattering slim fit. (Currently available in S-5X)
Tipsy Elves is one of the best brands for over-the-top, funny Christmas sweaters (you may have seen them on the show Shark Tank). This Winter Whale Tail sweater is one of our favorites from the comical brand, showing Santa bending down to place presents while accidentally showing a pantie line. We also like the bright, vibrant Christmas colors which really make the sweater stand out. (Currently available in XS-4X)
Another one of the best ugly Christmas sweaters for music fans is this “Snowtorious” pullover, which sees Biggie turned into a snowman. The holiday version of the legendary MC is still instantly recognizable with his iconic crown, chain, and cigar, and the sweater itself is comfy enough to wear all night. (Currently available in S-5X)
Here’s a way to light up any room with Christmas cheer — literally. This Goodstoworld sweater features movement-activated LED lights for a loud, unstylish look that’s perfect for any ugly sweater gathering. (Currently available in S-XXL)
If Jesus were around for Christmas, his apostles might serenade him with a round of “Go Jesus, it’s your birthday.” Even though he’s not around to hear it, you can join in on the chant with this ugly Christmas sweater from Tstars, which boasts the birthday phrase and an image of Jesus wearing his birthday hat. (Currently available in S-XXL)
For a more high-brow joke, grab this “Merry Corruption” hoodie. It reads “Merry capitalist consumer-driven corruption of a pagan fertility holiday. I mean merry Christmas,” bringing some intellectual satire to the holiday season. Plus, the hoodie is also quite comfy with a thick, cotton-blend construction to keep warm while you talk Marxism instead of singing carols. (Currently available in S-2X)
Another great sweater from the comedians at Tipsy Elves is this Santa Pooping crewneck. As the name suggests, the sweater shows Santa taking a bathroom break down an unlucky chimney while reading the paper. Made of a stretchy knit fabric for comfort, the sweater boasts bright colors befitting any holiday party. (Currently available in XS-5X)
The Office’s Christmas episodes yielded some of the show’s most memorable moments, such as the one captured in this sweater. After an office Christmas party goes awry, Michael Scott delivers the line, “Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party’s so lame.” The quote is memorialized in this hilarious sweater — sure to get a laugh out of any fellow fans of The Office. (Currently available in S-5X)
Since the release of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, Sacha Baron Cohen’s reporter continues to be on everyone’s mind. The bumbling Kazakh gets festive in this sweater, saying “It’s Christmas, very nice!” while wearing a face mask as a G-string and another mask on his head. Borat fans will obviously love the sweater, but even non-fans are sure to chuckle. The sweater itself is made of midweight French terry cotton and polyester for a comfortable, flexible feel. (Currently available in XS-3X)
One of the big debates that always pops up during the holidays is whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie. This sweater takes the line that yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. It blends Christmas details — snowflakes and reindeer – with the movie’s famous line: Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherf-cker. It’s a non-traditional festive call, and it’s sure to elicit some comments from co-workers, friends and family — whether or not they’re fans of Die Hard. (Currently available in XS-3X)
For the seriously raunchy, check out this sweater from Wild Bobby. It features Wardy “Wood” Joubert III, whose nude photo became infamous in the meme world almost a decade ago. The photo has resurfaced in recent years, making this Christmas sweater all the more relevant — and all the funnier. The sweater depicts Wood with a Christmas hat and a gift box over his famous private parts, saying “I have a big package for you.” It’s certainly hilarious, but only for the right crowd: maybe don’t wear this one to family holiday parties. (Currently available in S-5X)